listening to : Bu Zun Ku by Tong En


WO ZHEN DE HEN XIANG KU, YOU SHUI KE YI BA JIAN BAN JIE GEI WO!

WEI SHE MO!!

i already tried so hard to pull myself out of that state even though i noe its impossible but whie at this moment of time, the heaven jus wan to crash me again!

WHIE THIS UNEXPECTED DRAMATIC HAPPENING WILL HAPPENED AGAIN ON ME!

WEI SHE MO!

WHIE MUST BE ON ME? WHIE MUST THE PERSON BE YOU?

SHOULD I PRETEND THAT I DON NOE ANYTHING AND CONTINUE MY LIFEE LIKE DE PAST?

I REALLI DON NOE WHAT I CAN DO?

listening to : Wo Bi Cong Qian Kuai Le


erm. im realli sorrie abt the previous entries. don mistaken it. its jus a entry tat written when im intoxicated so maybe it bring some misunderstanding.

that i nth happening jus tat moodswinging lah

listening to : Waiting For uUu

celebrated fang's bdae at my hse. its great to see everyone around. fun gathering. mahjong-ing session for sure. we ate and crapped and we enjoyed the moment like no one business. and we started talking abt the past. like how we lied to neo abt an ant crawled into her ear and this caused her to cry non-stop den who like who den this and that. mygod. its never ending when we got so mani happening things happened during this 5yrs. den they leave around 11 plus and off im to msn to continue my chit chatting.

all thank to serene and i got a job but i decided to give it a miss due to some reason like the pay is pathetic. so anyone keen to have a job, call me and i intro it to you.

im waiting.

listening to : Hei Se You Mo by Zhou Jie Lun


memories linger...

i playback . . . .

those late nights..
the silly games that we played..
those long talks about nothing in particular..
the playful insults thrown at one another..
the smiles uUu shot at Me..
whine about not getting enough sleep..
and so on..
those moments with uUu..

in my head.

i felt so right, somewhat perfect. i might be wrong, tell me i'm wrong pls. im trying to forget that uUu were once here. wait . . are uUu still here? imnot sure what is going on. being in the middle of nowhere is not where i wan to be. i cant help but question, "HAS THIS BRIEF PHYSICAL/ EMOTIONAL CONNECTION FALL THROUGH?"

i dont know what to do to stop this from going on. i realli dont know what i wan in my life. there isnt any goal nor dream for me to chase for. jus simply nth in my lifee. im not blessed with the gift of letting go. but thankfully, im bleseed with the gift to be able to pretend that everything is all right when in reality, everything is going downhill.

i felt so tired, so tired of everything that is happening. i jus want to retreat underneath my blanket and shut out the entire world.

• listening to : Rang Wo Huan Xi, Rang Wo You

*yawn* lifee seem to be so great when you got 9weeks of holidae in hand =)
lifee still seem to be hectic but its no longer flooded with work but FUN instead=)

fri

• got back my lost phone-_-
• had my last paper
• cher come my sch to wait for me.
• planning to watch firework but in the end, brought her over to hm's hse
• bbq! (but i was the onli one cooking for the four lazy morons)
• chatted and crapped!!
• home sweet home

sat

• slept all the way to late afternoon.
• changed and went down to ms to meet kelly
• lunch and went to book place so as to get a good view of firework
• cher, bel, hm and gen surprised me by coming all the way down to watch with us=)
• her expression was damn hilarious when she saw her. cant stop laughing. loll
• the best firework(designed by france)
• saw cutie pie and mygod, she's still so damn bloody cute lah=) [good luck for ur sem test=)]
• walked around and crapped and went to hk cafe to have supper
• home sweet home

sun

• went over to bel's hse.
• dey played mahjong again-_-[ mygod, they are addicted to it]
• i watched my vcd as i was not allow to play-_-
• ordered fastfood
• and so on lah

lazy to elaborate!

taken by evon. ndp2006

listening to : A Moment Like This by Kelly Clarkson

HAPPY BELATED BDAE TO SINGAPORE
!!
went NDP 2006 with wanpin=)
NDP 2006 was really nice since its the last time at Kallang Stadium.
the atmosphere was so high tat it seem like the first time singaporean being so patriotic. haha everyone was in red and white and trying to try out everything that was in the free goodie bag=)
With the fighterplanes, parachutes & fireworks that made it even more memorable.
Other than that, the crowdedness is really not worth the trouble.
HAHA it's so irritating when people block your view.
the performance was like -_- but what make it special will be someone fainting while waiting for nathan to settle down. LOLL

* Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this *
image the firework was jus behide you.
didnt brought along my camera as i realised that taking photos of fireworks is so useless.
IT'S THE MOMENT THAT REALLI MATTERS.
so what's photos without emotion?t
hat's when all you have left are pictures.
and pictures COULD have been fake.
it seem to be so memorabl ewatching live firework. mygod-_- its so nice.
im willing to give up everything for that moment again!!

let don talk abt stuffs after the show ended as it going to spoilt my lub for this night.

haha. cher don be sad lah. let watch the firework this fri okie=)

haha and the most hilarious thing that happened when i reached home will be a sms from kelly. she actualli dating me out this sat for the firework. hahahahaha since i said that i will never reject anyone anymore, i agreed. so ppls out there, who keen to join in me for this sat firework. i don mind you guy bringing along your papa, mama, family, bf, gf or whatever shit. jus don let me be alone with her. she give me a feeling that she will eat me up anytime.
stop my crap and im off to mugging!2 more daes and my holidae will arrive=)

listenin to : Ai Qing Shu by Zhang Zhi Cheng

i had quite a hectic lifee for this past few weeks tat i had been ps-ing ppls or postponing dates. pls pardon me for all this as i realli got tonnes of works to do-_-".

as usual, i ps mj and rp again! haha and im so glad that since last fri, jas and me had our self-proclaim holidae till thur. loll. went national library to mug and it seem so productive to me where i finished up with so mani lecture. den planning to meet gen for dinner but decided to ps again as i was realli damn tired so cabbed home.

i had quite alot of works and lecture to do and read. how depressing=(

back to an empty house. today is one of those daes. daes whereby time seems to come to a screeching halt while, i sit back and indulge in misery. it had been quite some time since i have last felt like that. could it be that, im back to my old ways? for no apparent reason, i felt tears welling up in my eyes when, a faint image of uUu crossed my mind and, those words uUu said started ringing in my ears. i felt stupid, pathetic even. the past seems to have got a good hold over me. i can't seem to shake it off. i hide, i run, i ignore but it's not working. i wake up to a brand new day every morning. i psycho myself up for the day but, when night comes, it seem to fall apart.

listening to : Wo Hen Xiang Ai Ta by Twins

Free me!!

it has all taken a toll on Me. i feel so weary; being half dead wasn't what i had planned to be. a space within me where, my emotions should be is all that is left to testify and, perhaps even justify what i had been fighting for. where have uUu gone to this time? as i trudge along this long and jagged road, i realise that there is no end in sight to this misery. daes passed, weeks rolled away, months flew past, years rolled away, yet i am still here. am I being foolish? are we on different sides? do uUu really not know or, do uUu choose to ignore it? what is going through ur mind when, uUu look at me? what am i to uUu? i am been questioning myself for years yet the answer don’t seem to be there.

dragging it on for another 3 years isn't, going to do me any good. mixed signals on a hazy day leaves me, spiraling down in confusion. make it clear once and for all. cause, to put it simply, it’s killing me . i am still wandering around aimlessly. swimming amidst this debris of stale words, vacant promises and lingering memories. i can never seem to throw out this mess so, i shove it all under the carpet, to give everyone else the idea that, i had been getting along equally fine. i know that lying to myself won't get me far. but what can i do? i honestly don't know why i am still at it. do uUu really mean that much or, am i just getting carried away? perhaps, years from now, i will look back and laugh at how ridiculous i was. but for now, i am still trying to shake out the past shadows in my life. was it all planned? was this to happen? was it to be? could I have stopped it?

something please pulls me back to reality. i see the face staring right back at me. i wish i could stop this insanity that is raging within me. i wish i could have greater control over my life. i wish i could chuck out my past. i don't want to make another mistake. i have enough regrets to see me through the end of this life. i don't need another.

with tonnes of work breathing down my neck, i feel suffocated. with the impending exams heading my way, my fear grips me. what if I don't do good enough to go on to promote? That seem to be my biggest fear. with so much to cover and, with time against me, i am getting cold feet. i have never been much of a failure. and i am never going to be one. not now, not ever. things just aren't working out for me right now. sometimes i feel that, i should give it all up altogether.

maybe, this Life isn't for me. everything seems meaningless and, i feel so empty. there is nothing to keep me going. i go through the same motion everyday. to be honest, there isa void in my life, a huge gaping hole. what do I fill it up with? what is it that I lack?

that the four of us=) (percussion rock man)

to those who don believe tat i played the drum, this maybe an evidence to it. i was realli a drummer lah. haha but i wasnt in my fav drumset cause tat fcuking alan took it before i can.

listening to : Di Yu Tian Shi by Wen Lan


*yawn* went down school for wp presentation. den went for lunch and i was so tired tat i ponned FSP and meijun was cute lah. she actualli told the mentor that "HOUGANG GOT RIOT, SO THE ROAD WAS BLOCKED AND I WAS UNABLE TO TRAVEL TO SCH" haha what a nice excuse.

den went home to nap and went down to HM to meet cher for pepper lunch. -_-seriously say, i still don like pepper lunch. don ask me whie. ppls who noe me should noe whie i don like. den went home to continue with my FSP:'(

never ending work for me-_-

listening to : Tian Hui by S.H.E

*yawn* im so exhausted!!

went for FSP and actualli decided to pon CM but the lecturer come in before i can go. so we lied that we are going to the washroom but in fact, we went BA for lunch. den later when we were back, i started my psycho-ing and he let us off early. so went off with jas and den i saw mic and hy at clementi and they decided to bring me down to PJC-_-. mygod, wp made me waited for her like no one business but i must learn to be patient toward this kind of ppls. loll den headed down to town and pass the ipod to her. den later went down to amk to meet palz for movie-_-" but i overshot all the way to woodland and i was feeling so tired that i think i made the right choice of my lifee by heading home. napped for an hr. den watched spore idol. even though i noe jasmine is weak, but at least she tried her best and i noe she will be what she an to be so i wil be here supporting her all the way.

at the same time, got to noe a new from mic tat shock the hell out of me. she actualli didnt plan to tell me but in the end, for the sake of her best palz, she told me. but what can i do for her. beside saying SORRIE, i don think i can help her

listening to : Bu Sou Chu De Wen Rou by Li Sheng Jie

im so glad that i wil be free on tue with no lesson on=)

went down to meet meijun and jasmine at tampines mall but as usual i was late. den went down to tp. meijun went to ask for her transfering stuff den we went to design school to eat. we chatted and mocked on the school. trying to make ourself feel better with our choice to np. obviously we prefer NP which serve better foods. loll den went to meet ivan and they tht he is my bf-_-" oh pls. den they went off and ivan brought me around his school and at the same time, tryingto take picture for his assignment. and of course i saw alot of familiar faces there. den later shiming come and wee come. they brought me to IT canteen for lunch and later we chatted and gossipped and they decided to wait for alan but i was late for my date. was actualli planning to meet somewhere near my hse but in the end, they changed to town. den since they are queue-ing up, i went over to wheelock to ask whether the ipod is ready for collection and i managed to ask the person to let me have first. loll. and later continue my dinner and so on..